When we first met Kiki, she was hiding behind a sofa and was refusing to come out. We didn’t even see her until she was stuffed in a box and handed over to us.
She was silent the whole drive home. We’d read about rescuing cats and how to get them acclimatised to their new homes. We left her in her box with the door open so she could come out in her own time.
When the first 24 hours passed and she hadn’t come out – even for food – we were worried. My husband bought an indoor wifi camera, and we set it up to keep an eye on her whilst we were at work.
The following day, I checked my phone during lunch and saw 3 notifications from my husband. 2 screenshots showing Kiki sniffing her food bowls, and 1 where she had conquered the coffee table. It was such a relief.
Her hiding place for the next few days was under our corner sofa. Every evening we sat on the floor to eat dinner, our backs to her and voices low. Trying to be as unthreatening as possible.
One evening, out of the corner of my eye, I saw her emerge from under the sofa. We stayed quiet. We didn’t look at her, and tried not to move too much. She came over towards us cautiously. And then, she nudged my arm. I shout-whispered “SHE’S REALLY SOFT!”
My dream criteria was simple – cute and soft. Tick, tick.
Sidenote: I have a really big thing about soft material. Especially in bed. I find it comforting to put the sheets between my toes. Is it just me?
And that was it. She was our girl then. She would sit on the sofa with us and nuzzle us as we got ready for work. You’d think she was a normal happy cat.
But there are signs that’s not the case. It took her a long time to fully trust us. She would hiss or scratch us if she wasn’t 100% sure of our intentions.
Even now we find it hard to get her to play. Whenever she does indulge and lets her guard down, it’s only for a second. And then she runs away as if she’s scared of being vulnerable.
She’s obsessive about food. She paces backwards and forwards before mealtimes and wails relentlessly. An obsession this strong is expected for animals that have been mistreated and didn’t know when their next meal was coming.
We noticed a tear to her ear and a little bump on her nose that looks like it may have been damaged in the past.
She hates her belly being touched. More than most cats. And she doesn’t like to be petted on a windowsill. She doesn’t like to feel penned in with no escape route.
But Kiki is a sweetheart once you gain her trust.
She asks for me to lift her blanket so she can snuggle underneath. She sings along when we play notes on the rims of our wine glasses. Since working from home, she sits next to me all morning like a dedicated assistant. She definitely sleeps on the job.
She shakes her tail and taps her feet when she’s excited. She likes plastic bags, balloon ribbon, bobbles and little rolled up balls of tin foil. Even though she doesn’t play with them, sometimes you’ll find these things in her room as stolen treasure.
Every morning she asks for the wardrobes to be open so she can climb in. She then likes to tell us about all the wonderful things inside. She also loves getting brushed. So much so, she sometimes dribbles because of it. It’s pretty embarrassing for her.
She can hear a tuna can being opened from the other side of the house and will appear 5 seconds later. We’ve timed it. But she somehow can’t hear when you tell her it’s bedtime from a few feet away.
I wanted a pet for cuddles and comfort, and so I never have to be alone in the house. What I got was so much more. As I’ve learnt to navigate Kiki’s PTSD, we’ve got a lot closer. I can tell what she wants, how she’s feeling, and when her mood is about to change. I know when to comfort her or when to give her space. I’m fiercely protective of her.
When thinking back, I probably adopted an animal with PTSD to prove to myself that people with PTSD can be loved. Since looking after Kiki I’ve learnt that and more. I now know that the more people understand you, the more comfortable you will feel. And maybe PTSD will never go away, but it will definitely get easier.
